The World Health Organization reports that 1 in 6 couples experiences infertility. It's a widening statistic that's pushing more people than ever before to lean on nontraditional family-building methods, like surrogacy.
Unlike most states in the U.S., Michigan has strict laws around surrogate use. However, one couple has triumphed over it not once, but twice.
Alex and Alan Kamer's 3-year-old son, Crosby, is just like any other 3-year-old. His journey into the world was a little less traditional.
For the Kamers, traditional pregnancy was not an option. Alex has a complex congenital heart defect. Surrogacy was an option, but the couple never imagined the fact that they live in Michigan would amplify their stress.
In Michigan, compensated surrogacy is illegal, one of only three states in America where any such contract is unenforceable and/or criminal.
"We were definitely surprised and frustrated," Alex Kamer said.
The couple chose to seek a gestational carrier outside of the state, but it came with a cost.
They had to travel and said expenses, on top of surrogate compensation, legal fees, fertility and medical costs, totaled $1,000-$2,000.
With secondary infertility, the Kamers paid an additional $40,000 to use an out-of-state gestational carrier.
"I was so shocked. I felt so dehumanized and I felt so little," Alex said.
Stephanie Jones, who is the founder of the Michigan Fertility Alliance, said her organization estimates it increases the cost by about 40% to use someone out of state. That disparity pushed her to create the alliance.
"I knew something had to change," she said. Really, three things needed to change. She said the state needs a reformed law that upholds surrogacy contracts, allows for compensation, and provides a pathway for legal parentage. For those who choose to stay in the state and pursue non-compensated surrogacy, there's a legal headache.
Pope calls for universal ban on surrogacy
Pope Francis called the practice of surrogate motherhood "despicable" and spoke on the "commercialization" of pregnancy in an annual speech.
The Kamers were lucky to have a friend offer to be a surrogate for their second child, due in July. But going that route meant being forced to ask for parental rights before a court.
"It's completely up to what county you’re in, what judge you get," Alex said. "In the back of our minds, this has been a worry this whole pregnancy."
The possibility of being forced to adopt their biological child is another fear that further minimizes the pool of Michigan families who can lean on surrogacy as an option.
"I feel like it should be accessible to everybody," Alan Kamer said. "We've been through so much and it feels like why does it need to be harder than it already is."
In 2022, a bill was introduced to reform the law, and the Michigan Fertility Alliance is working on that reform with lawmakers.
More recently, Pope Francis issued calls for a universal ban on surrogacy, calling the practice "despicable." The controversial comments, in which he referenced the "commercialization" of motherhood, were part of an annual speech listing threats to global peace and human dignity.
This story was originally published by Scripps News Detroit.
