If you've had a hard time Keeping Up with the Kimye Nuptials, you're not alone. And if you don't know what a Kimye is by now … really?
Sorry — profess their love in front of a priest, not a camera. Or maybe it won't be a priest? Is Kesha an ordained minister? Hey, only a couple this crazy, stupid in love could inspire these crazy, stupid rumors. Here are the latest details.
So where is it? Somewhere here. In Europe. Guests are already arriving in Paris Friday for the multipart wedding. People confirms they'll be treated to a private tour of the Palace of Versailles, once rumored to be the wedding venue until the common sense intervened and France collectively said, "No." (Via Wikimedia Commons / Taxiarchos228, ToucanWings, ToucanWings)
Around 3 p.m. Friday, guests will get a texty text with the rest of the itinerary, according to Us Weekly.
This includes hopping onto private jets destined for Florence, Italy, the actual site of the wedding. Forte di Belvedere will host the lavish ceremony. Reported price to reserve the 16th century chateau: $410,000. (Via Flickr / Andy Rusch / Bruce Stokes, LDM News)
So who's coming? The Internet really has no idea. A survey of sites shows there will be somewhere between 150 and 1,600 and 3,000 Kardashians — er, guests — in attendance.
However, Radar Online is certain the venue will cap it at 200. All eyes are on one power couple in particular: Jay-Z and Beyonce. Us Weekly says Jay-Z will be there as best man, but several sources report Beyonce's definitely a "maybe." (Via YouTube / Jay Z's Life+Times)
Other timely invitees include fashion designer Rachel Roy, the rumored cause of the Jay-Z-Solange Knowles elevator situation. However, a source told Hollywood Life Kanye's "not worried" about another fight. (Via YouTube / Rachel Roy)
Entertainmentwise writes Vogue editor Anna Wintour snagged an invite but declined. Not surprised — she once infamously admitted she never wanted to see the couple on the cover of her magazine.
We all know how that played out. (Via Vogue)
Then, of course, the entire Kardashian Klan featuring the Jenners, except for one.
But TMZ puts it plainly: "It's hard to buy he needs the money so bad ... that he'd skip a party as big as Kim's wedding. Then again ... it is her THIRD time."
Any other crazy rumors? Kim's dress reportedly cost $2 million to make. Also, Daily Mail says the Italian army has been called in for extra security. (Via Flickr / Maegan Tintari, Wikimedia Commons / Utente:Jollyroger)
The Washington Post gets the last laugh, saying: "The most hilarious rumor of all…Kanye and Kim banned cameras from the wedding. Ha! Oh wait, E! cameramen will still be there, just for the before and after, but not the actual ceremony."
Right. We'll be back Monday with all the leaked photos and elevator security footage we can find.