World

Man Gets Stuck In Stone Vagina, Is Mocked By The Media

The media had a field day with pictures of an American student trapped inside a German sculpture of a giant stone vagina.

Man Gets Stuck In Stone Vagina, Is Mocked By The Media
Imgur / ErickGuzman
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Five emergency vehicles and 22 firefighters had to rescue an American student after he became trapped inside a marble sculpture in Germany. Seems like a pretty serious story. So, what's everybody laughing about?

Well, it probably has something to do with the fact that this is the work of art in question. Look familiar? (Via Fernando De La Jara)

The anonymous student was apparently trying to get a photo inside the giant stone vagina when he got stuck inside, according to a friend who promptly posted photos of the incident online, as you do. The fire department was reportedly not as amused. (Via Imgur / ErickGuzman)

According to a local paper, the $173,000 vulva — which has the translated title "Love Making" — has been standing for 13 years outside of Tübingen University's Institute of Microbiology and Virology. The paper doesn't mention if the sculpture has seen any other unfortunate spelunkers over the years. (Via Süddetsche)

The student got out unharmed, and that would be the end of the story. But then there's the Internet. I mean, seriously, a man got stuck in a giant stone vagina! You can't call yourself an Internet news outlet if you don't run wild with that!

Let's start with the headlines: there's the utter befuddlement from The Mary Sue, exasperated outrage about stereotypical Americans from Bustle, the complete lack of subtly that is The Register's bread and butter, and — oh come on, RT. That's only a little bit funny. 

But the headline writers didn't get to have all the fun this time. Pretty much every story about the incident was rife with vagina-related puns.

First up, we have Gawker, who reports firefighters rescued the stuck student using "the 'pull out' method." Classy.

Jezebel comes dangerously close to actually analyzing the story with the speculative lead, "Is this somehow a terrible omen for Thursday's World Cup match between the US and Germany?"

New York Magazine says, "The 'victim' will never hear the end of the lubrication jokes. He deserves it."

And The Mary Sue goes two for two on this story with its theory that this incident is exactly what artist Fernando De La Jara had in mind when he sculpted the thing.

"'Someday,' the artist must have mused ... 'some kid will jam his legs right in there 'for the vine,' and his cries for aid will briefly awaken the bright soul of Georgia O'Keefe from death’s cold embrace, and her ghost will laugh so hard that her face falls off.'"

Even the TV anchors got to have fun with this one. Here's Fox Business to play us out.

‚Äč"There was pushing, there was pulling, there were German insults hurled at the poor bastard. But mostly, there was an embarrassed chronic matriculater thrust from the cavern so many college boys seek to reenter."