Monica Lewinsky Speaks Out: 'Bury The Blue Dress'

Monica Lewinsky is speaking out for the first time about her affair with President Bill Clinton, and does she hint at Hillary?

Monica Lewinsky Speaks Out: 'Bury The Blue Dress'
Vanity Fair / Mark Seliger

For the first time in years, Monica Lewinsky is speaking out, and the former White House intern and mistress of President Bill Clinton isn't holding back.

CNN tried to catch up with her in February, but her former publicist told the network she was trying to lead a private life. Now, the 40-year-old has written a piece in her own words for Vanity Fair's May 8 issue. Why? 

She tells the mag​: "It's time to burn the beret and bury the blue dress ... [to stop] tiptoeing around my past — and other people's futures. I am determined to have a different ending to my story."

The infamous blue dress. Lewinsky expresses frustration with being made the "scapegoat" for the scandal. And that "other people's futures" line is certainly intriguing considering Hillary Clinton's much-talked-about possible presidential run in 2016. (Via Clinton Global Initiative)

It's been about 15 years since Lewinsky spoke to Barbara Walters about Hillary Clinton in a much-watched interview after the affair scandal. 

"I wouldn't dream of asking Chelsea and Mrs. Clinton to forgive me, but I would ask them to know that I am very sorry." (Via ABC)

Lewinsky says she's remained so quiet that people have thought the Clintons paid her off, but that's not the case.​ Now, Lewinsky says she wants to give a "purpose" to her past. 

She says the suicide of teen Tyler Clementi, who committed suicide after being cyberbullied at Rutgers University, made her realize she could speak out about the dangerous humiliation the Internet can bring. (Via The Tyler Clementi Foundation)

Lewinsky tells Vanity Fair she was suicidal in the wake of the scandal. Still, she says the affair was consensual — it was the backlash afterward that drove her to consider suicide. She says she never actually attempted it. 

The Wire speculates that with talk of a Clinton run and '90s nostalgia at an all-time high, this may have just been the right time for Lewinsky. "Now, the Internet is a much more friendly place for Lewinsky, especially the teen Internet. ... Lewinsky is a big part of the '90s nostalgia that permeates Tumblr and sites like Buzzfeed."

Vanity Fair is touting Lewinsky's piece as the breaking of 10 years of "virtual silence" and the first time she's spoken about the affair. 

And that's pretty dead-on. Lewinsky has laid low for years. In 2012 there were rumors of a possible tell-all, but nothing's yet materialized. (Via Us Weekly)

The full piece will be available online Thursday.